Sunday, June 1, 2008

Should Canadians Get the Vote?

Should Canadians get the chance to elect the US President? I think so. Seems a little far fetched since we're not citizens of our Southern neighbor and really just play little do-gooder brother to them (as opposed to wayward sister Mexico). But think about it; the race impacts and intrests Canadians so much more than our own politics.
Right now, the liberals are running scared and doing everything but serving Stephen Harper warm milk and cookies before they tuck him in at night to avoid an election. It has become pretty clear and straightforward in Canadian politics: they are incredibly boring. Stephan Dion is a complete washout, Jack Layton has no party to carry him to the top and Mr. Harper is little more than a stock conservative politician rolled off the assembly line somewhere.
But...US poliitics! I mean, come on! Rick Mercer had it right, he said this could be the best election ever, and voter turnout thus far has confirmed it. Hell, even though the Republicans have set the country back to the near stone age, you cannot possibly hate a guy who did more in Vietnam than Rambo. Let's face it; the candidates are original, the race intense and the mudslinging just beginning. The last election was a dud, people didn't really vote and they just went for Bush because they figured he couldn't really do much more damage in another 4 years...
Canadian politicians also never shoot their friend's in the face or get caught in "seemingly innocent foot-tappingly good gay sex scandals". So we up North have to do something before the youth of the country lose all intrest in politics. No one cares anymore, and they figure with a minority government one party is as good as the next. We have come to live for the US Presidential race, and with that whole NAFTA thing we should get a chance to have our say.
So band together North Americans and give us a chance to vote for a woman, the black Kennedy or a guy who spent more time in a bamboo cage than the average Chinese panda. And hey, if our dollar keeps rising maybe Americans will get a chance to vote anyone other than Stephan Dion for Prime Minister.

The Nouns I intensely Disliked this Week
1) Kobe Bryant - No matter what you do, who you pretend to be, or who your marketing people imagine you as, deep down we all know the truth and what you are.
2) The Red Wings - C'mon Pens, you're going to have to win every game left in the series. Malkin has to appear soon or it's over.
3) Cyclists - I appreciate that you are saving the planet one ride at a time, but could you please do it in your own lane and not the middle of mine?
4) Ashlee Simp...Wentz - Glad to see you weren't pregnant before the wedding. When that baby comes out six months from now it will probably be a little small though.
5) Bronchitis - Really, really sucks.

Things I liked this Week
1) The Library - You mean I can have this book for three weeks? For free?
2) The Celtics - Nice to see Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett make it. There aren't two other guys who have put in more time with junk teams who deserve it more. Keep going boys, win one and go out on top.
3) The Youth of America - They're voting, finally realizing they cannot sleep through another election.
4) Long Weekends - Let's have a few more! They are great for the worker and for the employers since productivity goes up.
5) John McCain - I am a liberal by politic but he's gearing up for a knockdown fight he cannot possibly win. Right where he wants to be.
6) GQ and ESPN: THE MAGAZINE - Nice to see magazines that are still writing articles. Thanks for keeping your readers semi-literate. GQ in particular the article "No Man Left Behind" is one of the finest magazine articles I have ever read this side of Gary Smith.
7) Book of the Week - "The Killing of the Tinkers" by Ken Bruen
If you've never read Bruen you are missing out on the darkest, most shocking and innovative series on the crime circut. He writes about a PI in Galway Ireland and his books are funny, heartbreaking and original. He says more about character than anyone else in half the words. Truly a must read author.

NEXT WEEK: The 10 Books I would take to a deserted island / Can America survive the current biotechnology scare...TO BE CONTINUED

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